Monday, February 8, 2016

2016 Make It Or Break It For Nintendo? Part 2: Intervention

Hello again, and welcome back to BaicunnPress. I hope you all had a fantastic weekend. This is a continuance to my ongoing "2016 Make It Or Break It For Nintendo?" series of posts. Part 1 is here. Today we'll be dealing with a difficult subject... The intervention to save the life of Nintendo. I get a little misty in the eyeball regions when I think about this once proud giant dying.

The Intervention Letter
Dear Nintendo,

I hope you remember me... I was once one of your biggest fans. I played your greatest titles throughout my childhood; Mario, Megaman, Metal Gear, Battle Toads, Zelda, etc, etc. You had it all. You were once the brand I looked up to. You fought valiantly through the Great Console Wars of the 1990's. I knew when I grew up, I wanted to be just like you; smart, strong, inventive. But then it all changed... You changed. It's like you forgot who you were. You began to push me out of your life. I was broken at first, but I recovered and made new friends. They paid attention to me. They listened, and were there for me, and in return I supported them. 

We lost touch at one point, but you reached out to me during a hard time in my life. You brought me on the adventure of a lifetime. I traveled Kanto with you, and sought out the path of a Pokemon trainer. We spent so many hours together over the next few years traveling and looking for adventure. Then almost as quick as you came back into my life, you were gone again. Occasionally we'd chill over a few rounds of Golden Eye and Perfect Dark, but then you were gone again after GameCube was released. It's almost as if you fell back in with the crowd of amateurs, rookies, and noobies you had previously distinguished yourself from.

And again I had to find new friends. Microsoft was more than happy to embrace me, and Sony hung out all of the time. I'd see you around every once and a while, but you kept ignoring me. I felt used and abused. You had nothing to offer me. No FPSs except Metroid, no RTSs, no engrossing RPGs... All it seemed you had in you were party games, and god damn it I don't always want to party. The only time you seemed to care at all was when you brought Resident Evil 4 to the Cube, but then there was nothing after that. And you only responded because you were getting crushed by Halo.

Years went by, and by chance we bumped into each other again. Literally by chance, I won a Wii. For a moment, it seemed like you might have gotten your shit together. You're approach was new, and I had access to the classics again. Your new controls were classic in form and novel in design, but it seemed like you still just wanted to party. It was difficult to find any substance and depth in your catalog... It was just a party all of the time, and don't get me wrong; I like to party, but you just kept going harder and harder to the paint until I couldn't take it anymore. I finally left you. It broke me, but I had become hardened toward you. 

I was tempted so many times to come back to you. I wanted to through down on the classics and share it with the world, but everytime I turned around, I kept reading "Nintendo DMCAs channel into the ground", "Nintendo, takes profit from YouTuber", "Nintendo hates streamers!" One headline after another. I missed you, but I'd be god damned to deal with your shit. What's the point of us hanging out and being friends, if we can't hangout with everyone else. And when we do hang out, we just talk about the good ol' days, back before you made it clear that you pretty much hated anyone outside of Nintendo.

So I end this letter with a few simple statements... Nintendo, I love you man. I wants us to be tight again. I want my son to really get to know you. But we can't until you end your addiction. Your attachment to control and your business model are killing you man. It'd be great if we could hangout again, and if I could share my gaming time with the internet without fear that you'd ruin my life, and shut down my social media and ruining my life. Your behavior is that of a sophisticated drunk. You just keep wondering around in circles hoping that you'll stumble back to your home before you pass out in a puddle of your own making. If you don't change soon, you'll die! You're better than this man. You can be relevant... I believe in you.


Thanks for stopping by again guys. What do you think? Let me know. I'm going to give Nintendo a bit to find itself, but be sure to keep check back for more content and part 3 of  this series. I'm thinking a title of  "Part 3: Redemption or Bust" seems fitting. Again, I want to thank you all for your support and your readership. As always, I'll see you later.

-Chali Baicunn